Last Blog
last but not least news blog

i dont like to ask but heres the thing, i have facebook and out of curiousity i checked that “compare people” thing and out of 10 people voting all of them said no when the question was asked if theyd date me, also im second to last in the rank of who people think is good looking. I have like a damn 3 rating on a 1-10 scale. i didnt care b4 but it really gets me angry. i mean no girl will date me becuase im ugly it seems and im tired of being lonely. all my friends got gf’s and have had *** but i havent had a gf since 6th grade and i havent even kissed a girl yet. be honest. please give me suggestions. please. i mean i always put the girl first. i remember b-days without being reminded i notice when girls get new clothes or their hair done, etc. just please help. hers an example of me. this happened early 2008:

I was 14 1/2 and this one girl down my street was only 3 weeks from being 14. we were all alone in her house. no parents. no nothing. BUT she is one of my best friends sister!!! but we both really had a crush on each other. we were cuddling. and then we satrted playing and fooling around and she lied on her back and pulled me ontop of her and face to face (i was suprised) and she went: “Nikolai…lets do it. Right here. Right now. I wont tell anyone. I want this.” i was like whoah. i looked at her and said: “ok honey.” she reached down and started unbuttoning my jeans but i could tell from the look in her eyes she was nervous and sisnt really know what we were doing. and she had one of her hands already in my pants and i grabbed her hand and said (ima blank her name out): “$********……no. not like this.” she said “what?” and i said “Youre not ready yet. You shouldnt lose your virginity like this. I care about u too much. I dont want to take advantage of you. Ok? This is meant to be…but not now. when we finnalyy make love, itll be magical.” she smiled and said “ok. thank you nikolai.” and kissed me on the cheek……then 3 months later, i told her “i love you” and she said “f**k” you the very next day. i mean come on. but yeah. please help and be honest of me. be honest thanks.

tell me how i can improve myself. change my look. im tired of being and being called ugly by other people. im desperate. im tired of being nobody, and im tired of having nobody. tell me how i can look at leasr passable. Thank you.

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By: Niko